What Perfume Did Your Mother Wear?

The question might suggest that your mother doesn't wear perfume now, but I don't mean it to. I mean — what perfume did she wear when you were little and she was the most important woman in your life?

I talk a lot about my mother and her perfume choices, but that's because my mother was — and is — a woman who loves perfume. It is part and parcel of the feminine things I associate her with — makeup, heels, fragrance. And it definitely influenced me.

Femme was a perfume she wore before she was a mother. I also recall Charlie and Enjoli when she was a single mother going back to college. Then, there were a succession of big perfumes — Scherrer, Diva, Angel. She's backed off from the big scents, and now prefers light, fresh scents like Bulgari Eau Pafumée Au Thé Vert. (A funny story about Scherrer. She can't stand any of the vintage perfumes I now love, and the last time I visited her, she asked me if I wanted Scherrer I, otherwise, she was going to throw it out! Ack! Don't throw out vintage perfume!)

I wrote about a friend's desire to smell Fleeting Moment again because her mother, who'd passed away when she was eight, had left behind a tiny, empty bottle whose residue was still fragrant. It was one of the few, tangible things she had of hers.

And then there is the ex. While thinking of this post, I remembered an odd ex-boyfriend who wore a very feminine, vintage-smelling spicy, balsamic, oriental perfume that was totally incongruous with his appearance — tall, masculine, New England preppy. "What is that?" I asked him once. "I'm not sure, but it's my mother's perfume." (These are the sorts of moments when not asking a lot of questions is probably for the best.)

At the time, I thought it was wonderfully eccentric that a straight man would unselfconsciously wear a woman's perfume — his mother's perfume! It somehow made him seem even more masculine, in a strange way, because it seemed so daring. It became (perversely enough), the scent I associated with him, and I know if I ran into it again, I would immediately think of him (and I guess, unwittingly, his mother). Now, what Freud would have to say about that tangled mess, I'll leave to the experts.

In any case, I am curious what your associations are with your mother's perfume. I find myself, like the old boyfriend, wanting to wear the perfumes my mother wore. Do you remember what perfume your mother wore? Are you going to get her perfume for Mother's Day, coming up on May 8th? What do you think she'd like now?

(There are so many great comments below! If you'd like to read them all, be sure to click on "Next" after the last comment on this page.)

Comments

[Tarleisio]

Oh, gosh...My mother wore so many. In fact, I blame her fair and square for my own terminal case of perfumania. With one exception, I can't wear any of these, simply because of that association with her. It's like playing dress-up in Mommy's closet aged four, trying to fit in her heels...

I can remember...Jolie Madame, violet and rose and all things nice, Shalimar the Immortal, Mitsouko, Fidji, Narcisse Noir, First...it makes for a list of opulent, va-va-voom, sensual perfumes, and that's the kind of woman she was, and a Scorpio, too! ;-) She initiated me by taking me to Paris for a 14th birthday, since I was now ready for the 'real thing'...going to the Guerlain flagstore on Champs Elysées and admonishing me to...pick what I loved. (I loved Jicky, and I still do!). I recall she left with both Shalimar and Mitsouko in parfum...

They are all so beautiful, just as she was, and I can't wear them, except for Fidji. Fidji I purloined in my late teens (back when it was still Great, Good and Gorgeous), and I wore it happily for many years, for the happiness it gave me and the memories it evoked. I wish I still had some vintage, just for that alone.

Such was her love of perfume, she left instructions when she died to be buried with one. She chose First. It was her last. Now. it's hers, always! ;)

[Perfumaniac]

Tarleisio, thanks for the beautiful response. It's no surprise you have a terminal case of perfumania if your mother had exquisite taste like that! How wonderful that she took you to Paris at 14 —  to the Guerlain counter no less! —  and I can't believe that at that age you had the sophistication to appreciate Jicky. Your mother sounds like she was an amazing woman, and to have the foresight to choose the perfume she was going to be buried with? That is true love.

[JoanElaine]

I'm so glad you did this post! You must STOP your mother from tossing out her Scherrer. That's just not right ;)

As per our previous convo, my mother wore Emeraude, Wind Song, Jontue and Alyssa Ashley Musk when I was a young child. These perfumes were usually Christmas gifts from my Father. He was forbidden to buy her appliances and sleepwear that looked "cozy" so perfume was a smart choice.

When I was a teenager, she wore Shalimar, Ruffles, and I know I said Fidji before, but she said she does not remember having Fidji! I have a mini bottle, and I'll get her to smell it. Perhaps having a good sniff will jog her memory.

Last night I smelled Replique for the first time, thanks to a lovely perfumista who sent me a sample. Every whiff of it smelled of the someone from my past. I don't think my mother wore it, so perhaps one of my many aunts. If I was closer with my relatives, I would like to do a sort of "perfume family tree". I would love to know who wore what, and if daughters and sons ended up wearing the same/similar scents, or if they rebelled.

I don't care for the perfume she's been wearing over the past 15-20 years, Perry Ellis 360 and Ralph Lauren Romance. Last Fall, she smelled Soivohle Violets and Rainwater on me and loved it, so she wears that now.

Now if I could just get her to crack that bottle of Chanel No.5 she has tucked away somewhere...

[Jane Daly]

Lovely post! Perfume is my earliest memory of my mother and my dear aunt who was like a mother to me. My mother wore Shalimar and Replique, then later Chanel 22, Nahema and Oscar de la Renta. She hasn't worn perfume in many years and had a disastrous experience with reformulated Replique. I recently got a vintage 1970 Shalimar edc for her- she opened the bottle, put some on and nearly wept. She said she felt like she'd been transported back in time. She is enjoying it immensely. I remember playing on her dresser and that Guerlain Montre bottle with the conical cap.

My aunt wore MANY perfumes, and her whole house smelled like the ground floor of a department store. Femme was one of her favourites. She also wore Arpege, Coriandre, Lumiere, and when the big 80s perfumes came along she was in heaven. Giorgio was her favourite but she wore Poison too. She bought me l'Air du Temps, and always got me the body products, telling me that perfumed baths and powder were the ultimate luxury. I recall shopping with her once & she stopped at the Dior counter to buy Diorissimo. I knew she never wore that and asked her why she was buying it. "Why to spray on my lightbulbs of course!"

[Olfacta]

I wish my mother was still here to experience all of this with me. I didn't realize it until recently, but she was a perfume fan too. There were always lots of samples and small bottles around -- I remember Madame Rochas, Flora Danica (oh how I wish I had that now!) solid perfumes from Max Factor in unbelievably ugly compacts, and getting Avon's Charisma as a gift one Christmas.

In the Sixties, she wore Arpege and Moment Supreme, both of which I still have, and Woodhue cologne, which was a signature scent for her. Later, in the Seventies, she wore Charlie and Moon Drops. It was part of getting dressed for her. She was always what we called "bandbox" -- not a thread hanging, or a chipped nail or unwashed hair, ever. I used to scoff at that when I was younger, but appreciate it now.

[flippy]

I don't know if my mother had a signature scent. She died when I was 8, and I do remember her smell in some way, but was too young to know what was her and what was perfume. As an adult, I was given a purse of her things, including a tiny, empty sample bottle of Fleeting Moment by Balenciaga. On some visceral level, the trace smell emanating from the bottle reminded me of her and the era in which I knew her (the 70s), and it really drove home to me how much memory, especially purely emotional and bodily memory, is wrapped up with these scents.

And I will never forget when my dear, best friend, a vintage perfume enthusiast to whom I had told all this, tracked down some Fleeting Moment for me, so that I could smell more than an empty bottle. Now the scent evokes friendship, warmth, and presence for me as well as the more difficult feelings associated with my mother, and shows me how much power these strange smells have as they float in and out of our lives. Thank you for this lovely blog that reminds us of that.

[Dorette]

Arpege & Ecusson. I still have some Ecusson and treasure it.

[Meg (Olenska)]

My mom wore one thing, and one thing only, and lots of it: Jean Nate. I adored it then, but not so much now, since the formula seems to have been trimmed to the point of poverty. PS SAVE THE SCHERRER. The thought of it heading into the garbage can gives me the cold chills.

[Patty]

I know my late mom wore Evening in Paris when I was a kid, and some Avon fragrances over the years. However, the one I think was her favorite and that I associate with her is Coty's L'Origan. She also wore Coty's Airspun face powder, which is scented like L'Origan.

[Tara]

My mother wore Youth Dew and Paloma Picasso. She smelled great. However, those two are just terrible on me. It's not that I don't like big fragrances, I do and wear many (as a child of the 80s), but her skin made those fragrances magical.

[Anna in Edinburgh]

I know that my mum wore Youth Dew, Oscar de la Renta and White Linen when she was going out. For every day scent, she used the tiny inexpensive rectangular bottles of Pagan by Lentheric, which were little dab-on jobs. All of her chosen scents smelled terrific on her and I think of them still as her scents.

cheerio, Anna in Edinburgh

[Perfumaniac]

Wow, what an amazing array of answers! Thank you all so much for taking the time to share the list of scents your mother wore. I almost feel like I know something about their personality if they chose Youth Dew, say, over Jean Naté! I'm going to mull over this a bit and comment on each one. All of your comments made me think...

[Barbara Orr]

My Mother wore Gloria Vanderbilt.

[Perfumaniac]

JoanElaine:
I love the idea of a “perfume family tree.” I know that we inherit our mother’s taste in food (because of what she ate while we were in the womb, in part). I
wonder if there’s a genetic predisposition toward liking certain scents?

Jane Daly:
First off, I love a woman who is spraying her light bulbs with Diorissimo! That’s like feeding Beluga caviar to your cats! Pretty decadent. When I was a teen, I too, smelled like the ground floor of a department store.
I would totally binge on perfume when I went to mall! My mother would have an instant headache when I stepped into her car! And I’ve experienced giving someone a perfume they haven’t smelled in a long time. It makes sense someone would weep from the nostalgia…

Olfacta:
Your mother sounds wonderful, and there’s something to be said for a woman who looks put together all the time. Some people call this high maintenance, but I
think it means that life is worth dressing up for and smelling good for! Thanks for recalling her here and giving me some ideas for perfumes I need to try, for
example — Flora Danica!

Flippy:
I know very well about the lovely Fleeting Moment. ;-) It was wonderful to be able to find it for you. XOXO.

Dorette:
I’d love to try Ecusson!

Meg (Olenska):
I remember the 70s Jean Naté, but I guess it’s much older. I’d love to try the older JN because I remember liking the 70s version. And yes, you should have seen the look on my face when my mother even suggested that this perfume I’d been looking for, she had all along and had thought of tossing. SHIVERS.

Patty:
I love L’Origan, and I forget that Coty’s Airspun face powder smells like it! People are so into fragrance-free products that I don’t know if that would fly
now. I love lipstick that smells nice, for example…

Tara:
Maybe sometimes we can’t wear the perfumes our mothers did because we want to keep the memory of how it smelled on them untainted…

Anna:
I dabbled with Femme but like you, that’s one I consider my mother’s (old) scent, and it seems like hers so I don’t really wear it.

Barbara:
I was into Tatiana by DVF but I want to revisit Gloria Vanderbilt!

[Aniela]

My mother smelled Cristalle without wearing it.

She used to smoke; always slightly tired and unapproachable but still comforting and warm. Today, when I need a hint of the mother I smell Cristalle.

[Amy]

The earliest fragrance I can recall Mom wearing is Estee by Estee Lauder. I think she also wore Knowing at one point. Later on she wore Eternity, Allure and Tresor. She seems to have veered away from perfumes as of late; the only scent she wears now is White Musk from The Body Shop.

My grandmother always wore Blue Grass; smelling it always reminds me of her.

[Perfumaniac]

Hi Aniela, do you mean your mother owned Cristalle and sniffed it but didn't wear it? It's interesting that you associate smoking with Cristalle, too. I had a piano teacher who wore (I think?) Fracas, and when I remember her I remember Fracas + cigarette smoke, so in some way, it was more Bandit-like! Mixed emotions definitely come into play when remember our mothers' perfumes...

[Perfumaniac]

Thanks for sharing your mother's and grandmother's scents, Amy. I just got Estee and want to do a review. Blue Grass is on my list...As for your mother withdrawing from perfumes lately, I think it happens sometimes. There are periods when perfume is more important than others...

[Anne]

What an amazing range of answers!

My mother wore Yardley's April Violets all her life, but with a strange excursion into Youth Dew. I think she emptied two bottles of YD bath oil. A perfume more different to AV could not be imagined. She was deeply disappointed in the 1980s when Yardley replaced their dab on bottles with spays. Mum hated sprays, and she also thought the fragrance had changed. I suggested that the perfume could be the same but being atomised might change its character. She did not believe me, and she wrote to the company and complained (most unlike her). They sent her a whole bunch of freebies, but swore the formula had not changed.

Looking back I think we were both right. Spraying is different from dabbing, but at the same time, Yardley is one of those brands that has been bought and sold countless times, and from what Mum said, April Violets cost less and less for her to buy. So they were probably cheapening it as they went. This is why she started using Youth Dew bath oil. You could dab it. She abandoned it after a while, and went back to (sprays) of AV. I still have the bottle she had with her in hospital when she died. The nurses loved it apparently!

I also wear YD, but only use it in the bath, as a bath oil (fancy!). I can't wear Aoril Violets at all. However, a perfumista friend recently sent me a sample of Guerlain's Apres L'Ondee, and I love that as violet blend. It has all the supreme elegance of AV without being a soliflore, and it is something I could wear in my mother's memory. It is very fleeting tho' - needs to be sprayed! So in next summer I'm going to get a larger amount. Might even go a full bottle!

Thanks for a great post. Have you seen that other Arpege ad: 'Don't cry Mommy! I'm sure Daddy will give you arpege!'. Nauseating ... !

[Joan]

You all have such glamorous mothers!

My mother was never much into perfume. My grandmother was. She wore Joy and anything freesia-scented.

My aunt died before I was born, but I hear she was beautiful. She had a big bottle of Shalimar parfum.

[50_Roses]

It's funny, because my mother definitely contributed to my love of perfume, even though she didn't wear perfume very often. She HAD perfume--at least 15 or 20 bottles--but saved it for "special occasions". Some of my earliest memories are of sniffing the magical aromas of those bottles. I can remember no. 5, Arpege, Blue Grass, L'Origan, Tabu, D'Orsay Divine, Roger & Gallet Blue Carnation, and Avon Topaze. My favorite was the Blue Carnation, and trying to find it again has been one of my biggest frustrations. I have snagged two bottles of EdT and a jar of perfumed powder (not dusting powder--more like a dry perfume). The powder is lovely and smells very much the way I remember, but the two bottles of EdT both seem too clovey and not floral enough. I suspect they have gone off. It can't be a reformulation issue, as R&G discontinued it long ago (in the 70's, I believe).

In her book "Perfume: the Art and Science of Scent" (National Geographic Society, 1998), Cathy Newman puts forth the theory that we get our perfume preferences from our grandmothers, not our mothers. I believe this may very well be true, because my grandmother (my father's mother) not only had perfume but wore it regularly, and my tastes seem to be very similar to hers. I don't remember her mentioning it to me, and I never asked her what she wore, but she always smelled really good. After my grandparents died, I went with my parents to help clear out their house. I don't know all the things my grandmother had, as others had been there before us and my grandmother's things were picked over, but I did find nearly empty bottles of Shalimar extrait and Mitsouko EdC, as well as a half-full bottle of Arpege extrait. I love Arpege and Shalimar, and I liked pre-reformulation Mitsouko. The real "ghost in the bottle" experience for me, though, came the first time I smelled Vol de Nuit at the Guerlain counter. I had an immediate and vivid recollection of my grandmother. I suspect that she must have owned and worn VdN, and that its absence from her personal belonings indicates simiply that she either had used it up (and hadn't replaced it) before she died, or else someone else got to it before me.

[Perfumaniac]

50_Roses, Thanks to you, I'm now on the hunt for Blue Carnation! And I discovered, per your recommendation, another perfume book! (I ordered it as soon as I read your comment, in part because I need to understand the author's theory that scent preference is passed down from grandmothers. Personality-wise, I'm much more like my grandmother than I am like my mother.) Thanks for your walk through the scents of your mother and grandmother!

[Perfumaniac]

Hi Joan, Amazing, isn't it, to read this list of perfumes? It's like a secret history of a person's life...

[Perfumaniac]

Anne: Youth Dew seems to be a common thread in many of these perfume histories, perhaps in part because of its marketing as the perfume a woman could buy for herself. It's maddening that perfume houses don't have to disclose that a formula changed, when women who are so intimate with their product KNOW its different. It's quite insulting, really, to their loyal consumer base. As for that other Arpège ad, it does sound nauseating! The one I used is kind of creepy itself, but it fit in with the theme. (Interesting Arpège is all about the man buying perfume, and Youth Dew the woman buying it for herself.)

[50_Roses]

I hope I haven't misled you. The grandmother theory is only discussed briefly in chapter 2 "Memory and Desire". The book is wonderful, however, and I think should be in every perfumista's library. The author goes through a multitude of aspects of the history, production, and marketing of perfume. She observes the harvesting and processing of jasmine in France, attends a condensed perfumery school course in Grasse, has a perfume comissioned for her, talks about the search for new perfumery materials in the South American rainforests, and so on. And of course, since it is National Geographic, there are lots of gorgeous photographs.